Time for the yearly evaluation, of 2022.

It was an emotional year, which I think is good, and it was in many ways a very good and important year for me, but with some bad things, mostly for the people around me.

Bad things first.

It is very hard to see my parents health getting worse. This, I think, is one of the hardest parts of getting older.

And then there were some deaths of friends, some of them quite young. This always hurts.

I had corona twice, although not very bad, first time I just lost my sense of taste, which I got back, second time I was quite sick, like a bad cold.

And I got into some trouble with the tax office, due to a mistake I made. This will all be resolved, but it will cost me a lot of time, money and energy.

And there’s the state of the world getting worse, the war in Ukraine, global warming, rise of fascism and of conspiracy nuts.

And I am still struggling very much with my chronic fatigue and ADHD.

But on to the good things.

Becoming part of the Refuge for 8 ensemble was one of the best things happening, playing beautiful music with this incredibly lovely and talented people. They have become like family. But also playing with my KSO Orchestra, while also being part of it’s council, being involved more than just playing and making friends was very wonderful. And playing again with my wonderful AMF family and my KSQ string quartet.

I also learned a bit of tango and Russian, both things I wanted to do for a while. Got into some good habits. I am exercising three times a day, and am quite happy with my morphology. My substance use is quite responsible. I do Wim Hof breathing every day. My two eye surgeries were a great success and my eyes have never ben so good as they are now.

Made a lot of new friends, some of them temporary but still very nice. While my “intimate” life (in the broadest sense of the world) is at times, ridiculous..

Reached a new milestone in age, and since then, a lot (but not all) of worry has gone away, and many things became easier. I gained a lot of confidence. And there were two very important things.

In fact two of my biggest wishes from my teenage years came true.

One, I became someone who people apparently find attractive.. and that sounds trivial and superficial, but teenage me felt ugly and unattractive, so this has been a very long road.

And related, and even more important: I am no longer shy, although in some contexts and with some people I still can be.

And I can really say, Berlin, made both of these things happen. I learned a lot, I grew, got rid of some insecurities, met some amazing people, including many with whom I had mutual attraction, but also many who became friends or with whom I had lovely conversations. And Berlin, and my experiments, and Kit Kat play a huge role in this, and this is something which I could not have learned anywhere else.

In fact, with my joining the Refuge for 8 ensemble, another teenage wish came true, playing in a band with lovely people.

At the same time I do have to keep my selfishness, narcissism and vanity in check. But I hope to find a balance in this.

So it was an important year in spite of the bad. For me personally, it was a very good and important year. I became confident (in many things). I met many wonderful people. I made love (in the broadest sense of the word) a lot. I made beautiful music. I grew a lot. I became ready for the next phase of my life.

Let’s evaluate my resolutions of 2022:

  • First: resolve health issues, foremost: chronic fatigue, ADHD, anxiety. But also eyesight, and more.

Partially. Eye sight got fixed with two surgeries, very happy about that. Energy and ADHD is still a big problem. Anxiety also, but somewhat manageable.

  • Become a better housewife. So cooking, cleaning, washing &c. Cooking is a big thing, I want to be able to make tasty and healthy food.

No.

  • Do my work very well. Specifically, my IT work for my current and future clients.

Partially. I think I did a lot of useful stuff for my clients, but I could improve on the server side.

  • Keep my selfishness, narcissism and vanity in check.

Partially. I think being aware of this helps.

  • Become more expressive. Also work on my voice, for speaking and singing.

Yes! I did become more expressive, and THC played a big role in this. Still need to work on my voice.

  • Get better at cello. Specifically, quality of tone, legato, expressiveness, and fast orchestra parts.

Yes. Intonation did get better, tone somewhat, still needs a lot of work.

  • Improve my photography technique, especially lighting, and editing.

Neutral. Improvements were not big.

  • Stop or reduce wasting time, money, energy, health, the environment, creativity, love.

No. Alas.

  • Cleanup my finances / administration / taxes, become financial literate, save and invest.

Made at least some steps to clean up the mess with the tax office. But needs more work.

  • Write more

A little.

  • Connect with like minded communities.

Yes, in music, Russian speaking, fornicating..

  • Youtube! And motion graphics.

No. Hopefully this year.

  • Find the love(s) of my life, better and more fornicating, healthy habits, connect with old and new friends, make my house nicer.

No, but met some amazing women, which gives me hope. Yes, ridiculously yes. Some (exercise). Yes. A little.

  • Learning: python / django or javascript. Spanish or Russian. Blender. SKydiving.

A tiny bit of Javascript. A bit of Russian.

  • Travel: Russia, Indonesia, Portugal, Gibraltar.

No. Only went to the Netherlands.

New years resolutions 2023.

Cut and paste from previous year.

  • First: resolve health issues, foremost: chronic fatigue, ADHD, anxiety. Skin, teeth, ear, nose, throat.

  • Become a better housewife. So cooking, cleaning, washing &c. Cooking is a big thing, I want to be able to make tasty and healthy food.

  • Do my work very well. Specifically, my IT work for my current and future clients.

  • Keep my selfishness, narcissism and vanity in check.

  • Work on muy voice for speaking and singing. Maybe sing in the band.

  • Get better at cello. Specifically, vibrato, quality of tone, legato, expressiveness, and fast orchestra parts.

  • Improve my photography technique, especially lighting, and editing.

  • Stop or reduce wasting time, money, energy, health, the environment, creativity, love.

  • Cleanup my finances / administration / taxes, become financial literate, save and invest.

  • Write more. Book and essays, youtube.

  • Connect with like minded communities.

  • Youtube! And motion graphics.

  • Find the love(s) of my life, better and more fornicating, healthy habits, connect with old and new friends, make my house nicer.

  • Learning: coding. Russian. Blender. Skydiving / sailplane.

  • Travel: Indonesia, Portugal, Gibraltar, Romania.