Evaluating 2023

Honestly, 2023 was not a great year. In some ways it was a pretty bad year, although certainly not the worst of my life, and also not without many good things.

Most importantly it was a bad year for my mental health. I felt very anxious, and lonely, with dips of depression. It mostly had to do with some issues in life I had been dealing with, the awful Berlin bureaucracy, family health issues, and personal health issues, including my fatigue and adhd. It led to some existential angst, about the future of the world and for me.


  • Berlin bureacracy was very tough, and got me into a lot of troubles and cost me a lot of money.
  • Family health issues. My parents are getting older and it makes life a lot more difficult for them.
  • A few friends who died relatively young.
  • Health issues, like stomach issues, fatigue, adhd, sleep. It made me worry about my life.
  • Felt at times, incredibly lonely, especially during summer when there were no rehearsals.


  • Playing and performing great music and performances, with my orchestra, with Refuge for 8 and with AMF.
  • Bureaucratic issues got mostly resolved at the end of the year.
  • Met a lot of wonderful people, made new friends. Some retuling in wonderful intimate moments. Met people with potential for something more serious. Reconnectd with old friends.
  • Had some important cognitive growth and insights. Got more confident in a lot of areas.
  • Got better at cello, did a studio recording.
  • Got better at Russian.
  • Started cooking more.
  • Workout paid off for my morphology
  • Most importantly: got a wonderful little sister, who has been a good influence on me.

Evaluating the new years resolutions of 2023

  • First: resolve health issues, foremost: chronic fatigue, ADHD, anxiety. Skin, teeth, ear, nose, throat.
    A bit of progress but still a lot to go. Ears and eyes are better.

  • Become a better housewife. So cooking, cleaning, washing &c. Cooking is a big thing, I want to be able to make tasty and healthy food.
    Yes, partially thanks to my sister.

  • Do my work very well. Specifically, my IT work for my current and future clients.
    Pretty ok.

  • Keep my selfishness, narcissism and vanity in check.
    Somewhat, but still need to keep an eye on it.

  • Work on my voice for speaking and singing. Maybe sing in the band.
    Hardly. Sung a little.

  • Get better at cello. Specifically, vibrato, quality of tone, legato, expressiveness, and fast orchestra parts.
    Did make progress. Still need to fix legato mostly. But people liked my playing in the ensemble and for recording.

  • Improve my photography technique, especially lighting, and editing.
    Not much progress.

  • Stop or reduce wasting time, money, energy, health, the environment, creativity, love.
    Not a good year for this. Wasted a lot.

  • Cleanup my finances / administration / taxes, become financial literate, save and invest.
    Did manage this at the end of the year, still some work to do.

  • Write more. Book and essays, youtube.
    A little.

  • Connect with like minded communities.
    Yes, a bit, at the end.

  • Youtube! And motion graphics.

  • Find the love(s) of my life, better and more fornicating, healthy habits, connect with old and new friends, make my house nicer.
    No (I think, but who knows), yes!, somewhat, yes, and yes, also thanks to my sister.

  • Learning: coding. Russian. Blender. Skydiving / sailplane.
    Did learn more Russian.

  • Travel: Indonesia, Portugal, Gibraltar, Romania.
    No money, no travelling.

And the new resolutions for 2024

A lot of them are the usual subjects.

  • Get better at cello. Made some progress, but need to fix legato, my tone in general, vibrato and intonation. And also speed. Also get better at improvisation and effects and my live sound.
  • Resolve remaining health issues, stomach, teeth, fatigue, adhd, anxiety, eyes, skin etc.
  • Party better: sustainable, responsible substance use, get better at making connections with people.
  • Maybe compose / write music / electronic music.
  • Write more and more regular. Improve writing skills.
  • Family. Friends.
  • Travel, maybe Albania, Portugal, Romania, Indonesia, Timor Timur.
  • Exercise.
  • Do more things to express myself, video, photography, music, youtube, dance.
  • Get better at tango.
  • Get better at cooking.
  • Build communities or become part of communities. For music, art, orgies.
  • Make my home nicer.
  • Find work that I love doing with people I like.
  • Find the love(s) of my life(s)